Things my third graders say v. 10

kid: raise your hand if you're a poodle. nobody? ok

kid: you two are the weirdest teachers I've ever met!

ms. brooks: thanks, we'll take that as a compliment?

kid: first graders just keep getting smaller each year!

kid: where's venzoola?

me: Venezuela? 

ms brooks: what would the girl in the story do?

kid: i dunno, i'm a boy i can only think for myself!

kid: why did my mom pack me raisins when i'm going to the dentist!?

me: don't whine

kid: ugh i know i'm not 21....

me to another teacher: third graders can still be concrete

kid: i'm not attached to the ground!

kid 1: You don't have to get married to have children. You can go to this place where they give you genes to have a baby.

kid 2: I think that's only in Russia.

kid 1: I love chocolate. 

kid 2: he's is going to marry chocolate.

kid 1: I'll marry a chocolate girl. 

kid: pack up isn't really school it's just the weird end of the day time

kid 1: the grammar on my note (for the western wall) was wrong

me: hashem doesn't care about grammar

kid 2: especially since we haven't learned it yet

kid: ms. benjamin is like the paparazzi 

kid 1: it's impossible!

kid 2: don't say that because in that word is the word i'm possible!!

kid 1: how are you spelling it!?

kid: it's ass-ee-uh

me: no it's Asia...

kid 1: whose so noisy in the hall?

kid 2: 4th grade, isn't obvious!!

kid 3: danger! danger! 4th graders!!

kid: mcdonald trump is running for president

kid: a segway is the thing paul blart mall cop drives on

kid: it's the prime marina?

me: prime meridian...

kid: when is the scholastic order coming

me: i placed the order yesterday

kid: so tomorrow?

me: it's not amazon prime...

kid 1: why did the tarnigole (chicken) cross the road? 

me: ok let's stop with the hebrew jokes, this is general studies.

ms. brooks: not to mention none of those words are in our phonics unit...

me: yes, that too!

kid: why did the titanic sink?

me: the shup was speeding to NY to be impressive and it hit an iceberg

kid: so basically you're saying it was the captains fault?

me: yup

kid: what was the old lady's motivation for eating the frog

me: it's a story, it's fiction, enjoy it!

kid: i mean she could have died...she had to have been motivated to try eating a frog!

kid: I like the squeaky markers, that means they works super good!

me: those are cats...not numbers. we're adding numbers please

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