Thursday, April 14, 2011

Say what?

The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternative meanings for various words. Here are some of the hilarious entries:

Abdicate (v.) - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach

Carcinoma (n.) - a valley in California, notable for it's heavy smog

Esplanade (v.) - to attempt an explanation while drunk

Flabbergasted (adj.) - appalled at how much weight you've gained

Lymph (v.) - to walk with a lisp

Coffee (n.) - a person who is coughed upon

Balderdash (n.)  a rapidly receding hairline

Oyster (n.) - a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions

The Post also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter is by adding, subtracting, or changed one letter, and then supply a new definition:

Sarchasm - gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it

Reintarnation - coming back to life as a hilbilly

Inoculatte - to take coffee intravenously

Dopeler effect - the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly

Intaxication - euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with

Ignoranus - a person who's both stupid and an...

Well I'll let you all finish that one, got to keep the blog PG, right?

3 thoughts on the matter:

Buckeroomama said... {Reply}

Absolutely. loved. these!! I think my favorite is "sarchasm." =)

sherri lynn said... {Reply}

this is so hilarious! people are very, very clever.

Dorian Susan said... {Reply}

Thanks for the laugh, these are great.