The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternative meanings for various words. Here are some of the hilarious entries:
Abdicate (v.) - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
Carcinoma (n.) - a valley in California, notable for it's heavy smog
Esplanade (v.) - to attempt an explanation while drunk
Flabbergasted (adj.) - appalled at how much weight you've gained
Lymph (v.) - to walk with a lisp
Coffee (n.) - a person who is coughed upon
Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline
Oyster (n.) - a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions
The Post also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter is by adding, subtracting, or changed one letter, and then supply a new definition:
Sarchasm - gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it
Reintarnation - coming back to life as a hilbilly
Inoculatte - to take coffee intravenously
Dopeler effect - the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly
Intaxication - euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with
Ignoranus - a person who's both stupid and an...
Well I'll let you all finish that one, got to keep the blog PG, right?
Thursday, April 14, 2011
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3 thoughts on the matter:
Absolutely. loved. these!! I think my favorite is "sarchasm." =)
this is so hilarious! people are very, very clever.
Thanks for the laugh, these are great.
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