Friday, September 9, 2011

I am.

Over the past few months I've dealt with some heavy personal "stuff," for lack of a more colloquial term. Some of this "stuff" really hit me hard; emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. It was quite hard to deal with my emotions and rise above the blows that I felt I was dealt. But, I feel like I've begun to do so. 
 It took quite a long while to realize that what I was going through wasn't my fault.  It didn't mean I was any less of a wonderful person. It didn't mean I was a bad person in any way shape or form.
 Regardless, it took time to not be mad at myself.  I was sad, hurt, broken down.  But then I look at all the amazing people I do have around me.  Those amazing people, that support me, love me, and encourage me.  And I began to accept that this "stuff" wasn't my fault, or about me, and that by being down on myself I was letting myself down.
I am in no means over the "stuff" that has been going on, in all honesty it's still going on. I've just begun to realize that by dwelling and being in the pity pot, I was letting this "stuff" win, essentially. I have too much going for me to dwell on all of this.
 I happened to just finish reading The Help and the line, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important" continues to stick out to me. It's becoming a mantra of sorts.  I am kind, I am smart, and I am important. If this "stuff" prevents some others from realizing this than too bad. Because I cannot live life waiting for this "stuff" to be resolved or disappear, because I am too smart, kind, and important to stop living.
So good riddance to you "stuff" I am not defined by you and I will live my life, because I am me!

5 thoughts on the matter:

Marla said... {Reply}

Selfies? If so they are fabulous. Actually, they are fabulous no matter who took them.

I found myself shaking my head "yes" through this entire post. I just finished "The Help," myself and that part stuck with me. We are all too hard on ourselves from time to time and need to be more positive.

Marla @ www.blueskiesphotoblog.com

Buckeroomama said... {Reply}

You rocked these selfies, Tamar! And yay for the mantra. Every child, every person needs to have someone say it to them.

Kimberly said... {Reply}

This is a great post! It has been a while since I read "The Help" so I don't remember that line, but I love it! Great selfies!

Rachel said... {Reply}

Oh Tamar. So sorry for the hard "stuff".

I've learned not to wish them away though.

Glad that you were able to keep the "stuff" from winning... simply by refusing to allow it to change you except for the better! What a great way to reinforce those amazing things about you!

And I love those pictures!

Rachelle said... {Reply}

there is a quote by Sylvia Plath "I am." It works wonderful with this! Love the photo series. You are wiser, stronger, better because of what you encounter. You are YOU!