Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Stuff my 3rd graders say v.1

I have a group of comedians this year. They say the funniest things on a near hourly basis. I often text the best zingers to my mom and Avi and some other friends, and they're right, these are liquid gold and need to be preserved somewhere. (some of these are older, but I had to preserve the oldies but goodies)

So for your enjoyment:

me: "I will pick it up on my way home"
kid: "go home?"
me: "yes, I go home…"
kid: "I thought teachers live under their desks. That's why teachers have apples on their desks, so they can eat a balanced diet"

girl:"piercing your ears isn't hard! you take two staplers and SHOVE it through your ears"

kid 1: "it's the 100th day of school! Only 265 left!" 
me: "not so much..."
kid 2: "that would be school everyday of the year!"
kid 1: "oh no no no no no no!!!"

During the afternoon read a loud. 
me: "'she was solemn'...who knows what that means?"
kid: "it's a name. Wasn't he a king?"
me: "that was King Solomon..."
kid: "was Solomon solemn?"

(Not a quote, but I must never forget this) 
Today's math class: 8 kids working very hard on multiple monsters....all while humming "mananana" from the Muppets...

me: make a prediction about tomorrow's special activity
kid: tickling Tamar!
me: what!?!?

me: "who knows where the winter Olympics are this year?"
kid 1: "Sushi, Russia?"
Me "umm...well...not exactly"
kid 2: "now I'm hungry..."

kid 1: "a rat can have wings." 
me: "when's the last time you saw a flying rat?"
kid 1: "I saw a flying squirrel at the zoo...?" 
kid 2: "you never know, I hear the NY subway has weird things!"

While the kids researched MLK. 
kid: "whoa the man who killed him died in 1998."
me: "I remember when he died."
kid: "You were alive then!?!?"
me: "yup I was 10"
kid: "wow. You must be old"

kid: "what's an encyclopedia?"
Me: "it is the book form of google..."

kid: you said a bad word!
me: what did I say?
kid: explicitly, on itunes, that means I can't listen to it.

A child suggested my last name should be "Thing-a-ma-bob" - it's shorter than my current last name, I may let it stick...

kid: "pencils smell weird"
me: "don't sniff the..."
kid: "ouch"
me: "did you just?"
kid: "yeah..."

Giving one group their spelling pre-test and one word is "trouble," then, I hear from a kid I never expected it from: 
"I knew you were trouble when you walked in" - in tune and quietly under his breathe!

me: what's one thing you know about the Pilgrims?
kid: they had it rough
me: how so?
kid: they didn't have ipads on the long trip

kid: "Tamar, why are you dressed fancy?"
me: "why must you critique my fashion choices?"
kid: "because I can?"

more to come!

17 thoughts on the matter:

Heather{Our Life In a Click} said... {Reply}

These are priceless! Thanks for a great laugh this morning!!

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said... {Reply}

How adorable they are and so honest. Love this! xo

Dara @ Not In Jersey said... {Reply}

I love it. I love when my kids' teachers share the things they say in class. it's so much fun!

Gina @ Kleinworth & Co. said... {Reply}

So funny - I love the perspective. Cracks me up. My 10yo is always the one that says the most off the wall stuff.

Anita Johnson said... {Reply}

The kids are so funny. We kept a journal in the teachers lounge (there's an old word) and would write down the funny things they said. Some of the statements were a bit revealing...those comments were saved as anonymous.

Mila said... {Reply}

Haha.. funny kids.. did you get tickled? ;)

Kim said... {Reply}

These are great!! Love how kids think. I'm sure the kid with the wrong number of school days is very relieved.

Nicki said... {Reply}

out of the mouth of babes

these are priceless. :)

Buckeroomama said... {Reply}

Oh, I love these! Keep them coming, :)

Deanna said... {Reply}

these are priceless...glad you wrote them down, they need to be retained..maybe after a year or two of teaching you could publish a book on all of these gems.

Pieni Lintu said... {Reply}

I'm laughing so much that it's almost impossible to drink my coffee. :D


Sarah Carletti said... {Reply}

Ah! Cracks me up!

Party of 5 said... {Reply}

Ha ha...love it. Kids do say the darnedest things...

Renae of Simple Sequins said... {Reply}

hahahaha, these are all great. Funny what kids think up and why.

Thanks for your sweet, sincere prayers in my behalf. I so love hearing that and knowing it. (hug)

Jade @ Tasting Grace said... {Reply}

LOL those are hilarious!

aspiritofsimplicity said... {Reply}

they are so funny. You must laugh much of the day.

Rachel said... {Reply}

Still laughing at "pencils smell weird". I am so glad you are capturing these! :)