Stuff my 3rd graders say v. 3

kid 1: ugh, I can't do it
me: can't is my least favorite 5 letter word
kid 2: can't is 4 letters...

kid 1: I want a blue paper please.
me (to kid 2): and what would you like?
kid 2: I'll have what she's having...
*cue hysterical laughing on my part

kid 1: my job is to delegate
kid 2: who do you think you are...pharaoh?

me: who knows what an analogy is?
kid 1: OO! I don't know what that is!
kid 2: is it an allergy?

me: what's a goal you have between now and the end of 3rd grade?
kid: to learn Spanish, French, and...Dutch!
me: how about something I can help you achieve?
kid: si.

kid: how do you spell "screw?"
me: sound it out the best you can.
kid: ssss-cccc-rrrr-oooo-U!
kid: do hippos live on a farm?
me: um, what?
kid: never mind, I think the answer is cow

kid 1: oh! It's like when you have a dog and you figure out how much time to play with it.
me: that's time, we're doing fractions
kid 2: oh so we can cut the dog in half?!

kid: I'm SO hungry
me: school ends in 20 minutes, you'll make it
kid: ugh I'm starving
me: there are starving kids in Africa, you're fine
kid: but I'm a starving kid at KSA.

kid: why can't I have white out?
me: because I said so.
kid: that's not a good answer, you didn't give reasons to support your claim
(persuasive essay writing bites me in the tush!)

me: who can tell me another fact they know...is that a sponge in your desk?
kid 1: yes!
kid 2: hey! stay on topic!

kid: I wish my last name started with a G, then my initials would be OMG!

They found a turtle at recess and named it Expectations, therefore they met and followed Expectations (the language we use to mean following directions/the rules).

spelling test:
me: thirty. I will be thirty in 5 years.
kid: aren't you 26?
me: oh lord. I will be thirty in 4 years. thirty.

kid 1: Is the Old North Church famous?
me: yeah, we'll go there on our field trip
kid 2: we're going to a church??
kid 3: is that allowed?

kid 1: who wants to play a 52 card pickup!
me: NOOOOO!!!!
kid 2: party pooper

kids, while walking to dismissal: conga line!!!
me: no conga line!
kid: is it a liability?

me: indoor recess gang kid: tell JR this isn't cool me: we've been over this he only reports the weather kid: not good enough

kid 1: know what's not fair?
kid 2: life?
kid 1: that's harsh
kid 2: so is life!

Needless to say, I will miss the endless entertainment from this group of kiddos!