Jewish Wedding Traditions

Today marks 2 months of married life! The photos from our photographer retell such a magical day and I realized not many people are familiar with the Jewish wedding customs so what a better way to share more photos than to share how our day was guided by tradition! 

For context: our wedding was a blend of modern orthodox and conservative (Jewish movement not political!). Judah and I are really happy with how we blended our families' customs and values but still made the day feel like it was what we wanted and were comfortable with. And for a disclaimer -- Judaism is a beautiful spectrum so not all weddings will be like ours!

Tish and Kabbalat Panim:

Jewish tradition considers a bride and groom to be royalty on their wedding day. The wedding began with us receiving our guests, separately, as we each “held court.” Judah had a tish and was toasted by his family and friends while they sang and prepared for the big moment. I was seated on a "throne" with my mom and Judah's mom and greeted guests as they arrived.

Bedeken:

As the ceremonies got underway, Judah was danced over to me. At this point, my mom and sister were in tears! It is a really special part of the ceremony and day. The whole energy is just electric and everyone is singing along (here is a quick clip!). Traditionally this is when Judah would veil me, harkening back to the story of Rachel and Leah switching places before Rachel's wedding to Jacob. I elected to not wear a veil, but Judah still followed the custom of giving me a little blessing. 

Tenaim:

In ancient times, the bride and groom’s parents decided on the tenaim or “conditions” of the engagement and marriage in a ceremony up to a year before the wedding. Today, it's more symbolic than a formal exchange of a dowery! Our mothers, “sealed the deal” and “broke” the distance between our families by breaking a plate. This is also intended to scare away evil spirits from the marriage. There is also a custom to give pieces of the plate to any single woman to give them luck in finding their spouse soon!

Ketubah Signing:

This was one area where we melded customs. Typically in orthodox weddings, the ketubah is signed at the tish with just the men present. It was important to me to be part of this so we signed it after Judah was danced over to me. Judah was first given an item of value by our rabbi (and dear family friend) to show he accepted the terms. Then we signed it, as did our witnesses and rabbi.

Chuppah:

Under the chuppah, a few things happen to formally wed us! It began with two blessings; one said over a cup of wine and then one that legally bound us together as partners in the eyes of G-d. Then, we exchanged rings which symbolically enacted the wedding contract as we transferred an object of worth to one another. We only use solid, unbroken bands; symbols of the wholeness achieved in marriage and the goal of an unbroken union. We also placed each other's rings on the right index finger, which is directly connected by a special artery to the heart (we put them on our ring fingers after the ceremony). After that, our ketubah was read out loud. The document is mostly in ancient Aramaic which sounds pretty funny when read quickly (hence the giggling!).

The second part of the ceremony is the nuptials. The Nissuin consists of the Sheva Brachot, “Seven Blessings.” The Sheva Brachot are blessings of love and marriage. Some of our closest friends and family were given the honor of reading these aloud (this is one of my besties!). 

The ceremony concludes with Judah breaking a glass. Many explanations exist for this tradition. One is that it symbolizes a hope that the marriage will last longer than it would take to put the pieces of glass back together. It can also symbolize that human relationships are fragile and that a marriage needs care to thrive. With the smash, it was official and the "mazal tovs" rang out!

Party!

After our yichud time (time alone to just breathe after the ceremony) it was time to party! Jewish weddings are known for their dancing and ours did not disappoint. The initial dancing was separate with men only dancing with Judah and women dancing with me. (this is found at more observant weddings and events). We went through so many classic joyous Jewish songs as we danced in circles and had the best time. 

Then it was time to go up on the chair! This is probably one of the most iconic parts of a Jewish wedding!

After we came off the chairs, there was more simcha dancing, but we began to mix men and women, for those who were comfortable. The use of a napkin serves as a barrier since men and women who are not related often do not touch. Josh is one of my mentors and former colleagues and it was so special to be able to dance like this with him by using the napkin! 

Mezinka:

At the end of the evening, we had the mezinka dance. It is a traditional dance that honors parents who have just married off their last child. Since Judah and I are the last of our siblings to get married we partied it up! The moms wear floral crowns and the children dance around the parents with brooms to "sweep the house clean" now that the children are all married off!

The evening also featured our first dance, toasts, more dancing (modern DJ type music), and so many more elements you would see at other weddings! We loved how we honored our traditions and made this day meaningful and special to us!

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