Tuesday, September 1, 2009

"Looks like you could use a knife"

Okay, so these two stories both happened a few months ago but I retold them to a friend today and I remembered how funny they were and had to share them with you! They both have to do with pick-up lines that rank up there as being, let's just say, out of the ordinary....

The first odd pick-up line I heard happened one shabbas in May. Mom and I went into the city for a kiddush in honor of a friend's daughter who had gotten engaged. It was at a young adult minyan so besides the family and friends 90% of those in attendance were in their 20s and 30s.

We were in the social room eating kiddush, I was walking around while my mom caught up with her friend. I was eating a piece of watermelon. You know how it is at these cocktail type functions, you are standing up, holding the plate in one hand, and therefore have only one hand to use as utensil, you know what I mean right?

Okay, so anyway....I am trying (key word) to cut my watermelon slice into a polite bite size but it was a piece that was not so ripe and therefore hard to cut. All of a sudden a guy, who I size up to be in his late 20s early 30s says to me "looks like you could use a knife."

Ummm...okay, yeah. I respond that yes I do need a knife and how trying to cut food with just a fork at these type of settings is so hard. Polite laughter, some chatting, etc etc. We talk for some time and finally get around to that question "so, what do you do?" Turns out he is a fellow at NYU in gastroenterology (not shabby, eh?). We talk about that for a bit and then he asks me, "so, what do you do?" The rest of our conversation went like this....

me: "I am a student"
guy: "oh what are you getting your masters in?"
me: "Oh, no I am finishing up undergrad."
guy: "oh, have a good shabbas"

Well there you have it sports fans - A strange pick up line wasted on a gal too young...

Flash forward a week or so to Portland, Oregon. I spend the afternoon with Avi and go back up to the VA hospital with her since she has an afternoon stint in the ICU. I am waiting in the lobby for a bus to head back to their house and I sit down in a chair to wait. Sitting next to me is an elderly gentleman, who seems a bit frail. He's in a wheelchair, has some IV bags on a pole, etc etc.

I smile at him and pick up an AARP magazine (no joke). Not two seconds later I see cute little old man is looking at me. I look up at him and smile and then he says, "hey there toots, how you doing?"

Now what makes this even better is that while he says this he takes his hand and uses it to push his NG tube back behind his ear..... really I could NOT make this up!

And yes, it gets better! Two seconds later his wife comes back from the coffee shop and wheels him away. And as they go, yeah you guessed it, he turns around and waves!

So in one week I go from being too young to being just right! If only the guy I was right with was the one who was the doctor not the one who probably went back upstairs to see my sister the doctor!

Got to love it, really!

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