Thursday, February 11, 2010

Bumblebees Don't Know

The first blog I began was a way to journal about my trials and triumphs with Central Auditory Processing Deficit (CAPD) as I began college. Well, eventually I stopped keeping up with that blog and eventually moved to this blog. I decided to move over some of the posts about my life with CAPD and how it effects me to this blog. Here is something I wrote basically describing CAPD and me.

I was diagnosed with a Central Auditory Processing Deficit, Hyperacusis, and Tinnitus on April 15, 1998. The diagnosis helped explain to me and my family why school and life had been so difficult. It gave a reason for why I was getting easily overwhelmed by sound and why school was getting more difficult. Because my brain didn’t process sound well which meant I was missing much of what was said. We now know that this was likely caused by many sinus infections as a young child which caused my brain’s ability to process sound to be compromised. Although my ears work fine I often come across as someone who is hard of hearing. During my early years my brain was not exposed to sounds and did form enough hearing pathways. The last ten years has been a struggle to overcome this and learn how to live my life to the fullest.

I changed after I was diagnosed. I stopped being the free spirited, carefree kid I was before. Before that day nothing stopped me, then suddenly my life was brought to a screeching halt. I suddenly had “issues,” I had to visit specialists, I became embarrassed about who I had become. I denied that I had these problems and let the diagnosis define who I was until I saw that having CAPD was one more unique part of who I was.

I know “own my disability” telling friends, professors, and even university admissions board about the LDs I have overcome. Here at AU I am thriving due to an amazing support program they have, including a separate application process, special college writing classes, and free tutors. Owning my disability has changed my life for the better, and I now can live my life no longer afraid of having to hide my “issues.” Sure at times I get down in the dumps and do the “poor me” or “why not someone else” but I know that that attitude gets me nowhere. Holding my head high is the only way to get through life, if people do not accept me and my “stuff” then they miss out on meeting the individual behind it all. It has taken me a long time to understand that and it has allowed me to meet some amazing people along the way who have helped me see who I really am and how to live life to the fullest!

“When life starts to get to me my mom always says, “Bumblebees don’t know.” This is because aerodynamically bumblebees shouldn’t be able to fly; yet they do. This reminds me that even though I was told that I couldn’t do certain things, I did. Knowing this, I get up each day and work hard at school, at work, and dance. When I do these things I am flying.”

-- From my AU essay

Stay tuned for more about my life with CAPD

0 thoughts on the matter: