Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Stuff my 3rd grade say v.2

kid: I'm eating pretzels because it's snowing
me: those are two independent variables
kid: no they're only stick pretzels

me: what's do you when you want to do research?
kid 1: ask Siri!!
kid 2: she creeps me out...

kid: if you're inflexible and you write "ditch" it's a bad word…
me: you mean if you're dyslexic?

me: (after an insane morning) oy, the inmates are running the asylum
kid 1: we're not convicts!
kid 2: yeah, we've always been Jewish!
kid 1: convicts, not converts!

me: why do we praise G-d before asking for things
kid 1: We're buttering him up!
kid 2: um that's just wrong 
me: who can give an example of a noun and then make that noun plural?
kid 1: Tamar is one noun and more than one is Tamars
kid 2: now that's a scary thought!

me: read to yourselves please, I have a headache.
kid: is it a "we caused it headache"?

Me: Ok, it's time to talk about Jewish math!
Kid: What, like, 1 slave plus 1 slave = 2 sad Jewish slaves?
Me: well, yes actually...


me: (spelling assessment) gum: you are chewing gum. gum
kid: what about guar gum?

kid 1: you rolled the dice wrong
kid 2: there's no wrong way to roll dice!
kid 1: mmhmm, it's called palming the dice
me: Vayikra is also called Leviticus in English
kid 1: sounds like a spell in Harry Potter.
kid 2: no that's "ridiculous"!

me: there are feathers all over the floor, it looks like a chicken exploded
kid: maybe it did...

kid 1: Tamar! It's hard!
me: hard means you're working and learning, that's good!
kid 1: no, hard is hard!
kid 2: you can't use the word in the definition

kid: I have leftover pasta for lunch.
me: what kind?
kid: ravi...rabi...Rabbi-oli!!
and in honor of the never ending winter...

me: one week until Spring break!
kid 1: it's spring??
kid 2: It's March 4th!
me: it's April 4th...
kid 2: but it's so COLD still!

12 thoughts on the matter:

Jeanne said... {Reply}

Such great captures... sounds to me as if you are on your way to writing a book.

Adrienne said... {Reply}

I was going to make myself stop reading blogs and go get something done, and then I saw your title...so I had to read this one!! Did not disappoint! "Is it a we-caused headacne?" hahaha!

Heather{Our Life In a Click} said... {Reply}

These always crack me up!! Love it!

Dara @ Not In Jersey said... {Reply}

I love these.

Nancy @ A Rural Journal said... {Reply}

Your kids are so bright -- what fun (most of the time) it must be to teach them and them teach you. :)

Danelle M said... {Reply}

Oh my goodness Tamar, these are hilarious. Thanks for starting my day off with a smile. :)

Carol Blackburn said... {Reply}

Oh my, kids do have all the answers and you can tell them, they have the right to be wrong. It's what my husband tells me when I think I'm right, but I usually am (right that is). LOL

Party of 5 said... {Reply}

Kids say the darnedest things...love it. # 1 is funny!

Kim Stevens said... {Reply}

ROFL....these are so funny, SO FuNNy! I was laughing so hard my dog came upstairs to see what all the commotion was about. I've said it before, I'll say it again....you need to put these in a book...put them in a book and I will be the first one to buy a copy or two!

Ahhh, thanks for the great belly laughs!! xo

Kim Cunningham said... {Reply}

They are hilarious! Their humor is pretty advanced, in my opinion. How do you keep a straight face?

Sharon said... {Reply}

SO funny! Aren't kids just so great and endless fun?! My favorite is the pretzel sticks. Thanks for the laughs!

Buckeroomama said... {Reply}

Oh, these are precious! I can't even pick a favorite. Keep them coming!