Sunday, May 18, 2014

Song-graphy: Upside down

Upside down...
Is this how it's supposed to be?

Upside down. This week, my world, and the world of my second family, was turned upside down.

Those of you who are friends with me on facebook, or like the blog's facebook page know, that sadly, my amazing school will be unable to reopen for the 2014-2015 school year. It still feels like some bad dream, but it's been a long two weeks leading up to the decision late Thursday night.

In an instant my world was turned upside down. The world of my co-workers, of my students.

I wish that no teacher have to look into the eyes of a sobbing nine year old as he asks you "why? why does it have to close?" Because there is no response. No teacher should have to see children mourn the loss of their school. The place they feel safe, happy, successful.

To be blunt: it sucks. It sucks to have your world, your job, your second family yanked out from underneath you. The past two years have been more than amazing. I became a teacher at KSA. I found an amazing second family and I saw a future for myself there.

Is this how it's supposed to be?

My Bubbe, of blessed memory, always used to say "out of bad comes good." As hard as it may be to think now, maybe this is how it's supposed to be. Maybe it's time to go onto the next chapter and adventure in my life. Saying that doesn't make this any easier. I woke up today and suddenly a few tears fell from my eyes.

And it's ok to be sad, as I told my students and as one friend who is a social worker reminded me. She's right. And no doubt, the next month - 17.5 days will be a very strange mix of sad/happy/exciting/scary. It's hard to celebrate the end of the school year when it is truly the end. But, there is still more information to learn and memories to be made.

Who knows where this will take me. Hopefully, come September I will have the chance to find my 3rd family, because KSA will always be my second family, and I will get a chance to make a difference in the lives of some other children.

But for now...it feels very upside down and strange.
 
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16 thoughts on the matter:

Adrienne said... {Reply}

Once again, so sorry. My heart is wishing all good things for you!

Kim said... {Reply}

Yeah, this is just so hard! It's one thing to decide to move on, but another to be left with no choice. I hate that the whole family of your school is having to deal with sudden closure. And while I know that you are just getting ready for a new chapter, it doesn't make it any easier. I do hope the next couple weeks will be super special and end on a high note!

Rainey said... {Reply}

Oh my! I am so sorry to hear this! I could tell you really love where you work. I will pray that you will find something that fits you well and is where God wants you to be to do the most good in those children's lives. I can tell you are an awesome teacher! The world needs more teachers like you. :-)

chai-and-chardonnay.blogspot.com said... {Reply}

So sorry to hear about the closure of your school, I only sensed how you loved being there and how devoted you were. What are the children going to do? I hope that you will be able to move on to another work which will be fitting for you.

Ida said... {Reply}

Oh Tamar that is indeed sad news as I know just how much you loved those kids. It was so apparent in your posts about them. I'm guessing the closing was due to ($$) or lack there of. How sad for those kids. I pray they will all find a school to attend that will meet their needs and that you will find where you are meant to be as well. Hugs to you from me.

Brea said... {Reply}

oh my goodness, I am so sorry. That is truly heartbreaking. I will pray for you.

Nicki said... {Reply}

The security of having a school (your home school) always there to go to is something we take for granted. I remember when my daughter was in 1st grade and the teacher left for another school over Winter Break - no goodbye, no explanation - just gone. For the rest of the year it was a revolving door of temps which brought her to tears wondering what they (the kids) were doing wrong and why no one wanted to teach them. In the eyes of a child this is their world, and the concept that good will come is hard to wrap their minds around. Bless you and the task you have before you. I have no doubt you will land on your feet - you are an excellent teacher and very ambitious. My blessings for your children as they discover through this challenge that they too will land on their feet and excel in their new school.

Saun said... {Reply}

So sorry to hear this. Wishing you lots of luck hugs

Saun

Carol Blackburn said... {Reply}

Cherish the memories and look forward to new experiences, Tamar. The one sure thing we have in this world is the knowledge that it is dynamic and ever-changing. Wishing you a good week ahead.

Rebecca said... {Reply}

Oh my goodness, that is turning worlds upside day. I am sorry for you and the kids and do wish you much luck in settling in a new place.

Claudia Willison said... {Reply}

I am so sorry, Tamar... I've known you only slightly for a short period of time, but even so, it became apparent to me that you love your profession and dedicate so very much to it. For you and your '2nd' children I am hoping that you both find new ways.
Like you are saying 'who know what awaits you' and being as old as I am, I know there is always something new and exciting and challenging out there for you, but still... it is sad... and it takes time... hugs!

Kathy McB said... {Reply}

This is so sad, on many different levels. But I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Doesn't make it easier, but there is some sense of peace in knowing that when a door closes..a window opens...we just have to notice it. Thanks for linking up to Song-ography.

Nicole Bryce-Sharron said... {Reply}

Tamar, I am so sorry to hear this. You've always shown such love and passion for your students, school, and job. I know it's of little consolation, but hopefully out of this WILL come a new opportunity, a better one. ((HUGS)) to you.

- Nicky @ Awesomeville.co.uk

Heather{Our Life In a Click} said... {Reply}

Oh nooo! I'm reading backwards so I'm coming to this last. I'm really sorry to hear this. Very sad!! :( I agree with your Bubbe and also that it's ok to be sad, acknowledge it and move on when you can. I know you will end up somewhere great!

Heather{Our Life In a Click} said... {Reply}
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anita Johnson said... {Reply}

I am so sorry to be reading this...you will be in my prayers as this chapter closes and a new one begins.