kid: raise your hand if you're a poodle. nobody? ok
kid: you two are the weirdest teachers I've ever met!
ms. brooks: thanks, we'll take that as a compliment?
kid: first graders just keep getting smaller each year!
kid: where's venzoola?
ms brooks: what would the girl in the story do?
kid: i dunno, i'm a boy i can only think for myself!
kid: why did my mom pack me raisins when i'm going to the dentist!?
me: don't whine
kid: ugh i know i'm not 21....
me to another teacher: third graders can still be concrete
kid: i'm not attached to the ground!
kid 1: You don't have to get married to have children. You can go to this place where they give you genes to have a baby.kid 2: I think that's only in Russia.
kid: pack up isn't really school it's just the weird end of the day time
kid 1: the grammar on my note (for the western wall) was wrong
me: hashem doesn't care about grammar
kid 2: especially since we haven't learned it yet
kid: ms. benjamin is like the paparazzi
kid 1: it's impossible!
kid 2: don't say that because in that word is the word i'm possible!!
kid 1: how are you spelling it!?
kid: it's ass-ee-uh
me: no it's Asia...
kid 1: whose so noisy in the hall?
kid 2: 4th grade, isn't obvious!!
kid 3: danger! danger! 4th graders!!
kid: mcdonald trump is running for president
kid: a segway is the thing paul blart mall cop drives on
kid: it's the prime marina?
me: prime meridian...
kid: when is the scholastic order coming
me: i placed the order yesterday
kid: so tomorrow?
me: it's not amazon prime...
kid 1: why did the tarnigole (chicken) cross the road?
me: ok let's stop with the hebrew jokes, this is general studies.
ms. brooks: not to mention none of those words are in our phonics unit...
me: yes, that too!
kid: why did the titanic sink?
me: the shup was speeding to NY to be impressive and it hit an iceberg
kid: so basically you're saying it was the captains fault?
kid: what was the old lady's motivation for eating the frog
me: it's a story, it's fiction, enjoy it!
kid: i mean she could have died...she had to have been motivated to try eating a frog!
kid: I like the squeaky markers, that means they works super good!
me: those are cats...not numbers. we're adding numbers please
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