Thursday, March 30, 2017

Things My Thing Graders Say v. 18

kid 1: my brain can't handle this
kid 2: it can't handle the truth? 

me: can you say easy way out?
kid 1: easy way out...
kid 2: not what she meant

kid: I shall....persevere...maybe!

kid: i tried 100 times
me: try 101
kid: ugh fine one more try

kid: i want a tutu and a jetpack
me: those aren't natural colors
kid: they are to natural colors! 
me: lakes aren't orange

kid: is mini-sota tiny?

kid: do they text in texas?

me: we do this to help you learn
kid: nah...it doesn't help
me: when you have two education degrees we can talk

kid: wait, what's our country
me: i pledge allegience to the flag of the...
kid: wellll we're actually not that united these days 
kid 1: there is no one to blame
kid 2: you can blame me?
kid 1: eh no thanks

boy: you clean it up
girl: i am not your maid! 

kid 1: did you cut your hair
kid 2: seriously, you think she cuts her own hair
kid 1: good point do we trust her with scissors
me: thanks guys....

me: guys, tattling is so second grade
kid: eh it's more like so kindergarten

me: eyes on me please
kid: it's going to be really messy if we all put our eyes ON you! 
kid: yes ma'am
me: did you just 'yes ma'am' me
kid: you know it

kid: no no i'm the only dealer
me: oh really now
kid: yep, the best dealer in all of third grade
me: ummmmmmm

kid: can I write "i said sorry you don't have a horse...apologetically"
me: that works

kid 1: whose going to read this article
me: it'll be in the weekly school update email
kid 2: we're going to be school famous!

me: ID is which state....
kid: i forgot
me: idaho
kid: knew it was something hoe
me: it's a little noisy
kid: i know because we're talking!

kid: idamoose

kid: i had a phonics dream over break it was wordy
me: do you see how funny that statement is?
kid: it wasn't funny it was a nightmare the books were eating me!

me: what does groan mean
kid: what I do allll day.....are we done now?

kid 1: how did you think so fast
ms. gerber: because i'm smart
kid 2: that's a really logical explanation!
kid 1: doe a deer a female dear
moose obsessed kid: moo a moose a female moose
kid 3: COW

ms. gerber: thanks for the ego boost!
kid: hey that's a phonics word!

me: america is a nation of immigrants
kid: they get the job done!

kid: it's spring why is there snow
me: oh come on you know it doesn't just go poof on the first day of spring
kid: a girl can dream

me: oops I skewed the data
kid: you screwed!?!?!!
me: NO!
kid: what did you screw!?

me: stop. Please. Stop!!


   

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11 thoughts on the matter:

Buckeroomama said... {Reply}

Oh my word, these cracked me up!! (I have to say that my tween still comes up with similar smartypants comments... When will they ever tire of puns?!)

Tom said... {Reply}

...Ah, the age of alternate facts!

pmzf said... {Reply}

I love these. Wish I did this when I was teaching!!!

Clairejustine oxox said... {Reply}

Aww, these are sweet :) Kids say the best things. Thanks for hosting Tamar :)

Gina Kleinworth said... {Reply}

They do say the funniest things!!! :)

Heather{Our Life In a Click} said... {Reply}

It wouldn't be complete without a Hamilton reference! These are all so great!

Chere Mama said... {Reply}

Somehow wanting a tutu and and a jetpack just makes so much sense at that age. Hee hee! these are endlessly entertaining.

Dara @ Not In Jersey said... {Reply}

LOL. Kids are so literal at that age! I love the moose obsessed kid!

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said... {Reply}

LOL! Children say the darnedest things! I don't know how you can keep a straight face when they do ;)

Ida said... {Reply}

Oh my gosh some of those were just so funny. I'm so glad you remember them and share. Thanks for the laughs.

csuhpat1 said... {Reply}

Kids are so funny. Thanks for sharing.