Sunday, July 19, 2009

Baruch Dayan Emet

Life may be random and often the surprises it throws us are not the ones we want, but the universe gets its ways. Todays 'surprise' is one we knew would come but did not want to welcome. My Zayda passed away this morning at the beautiful age of 85. He had been sick and we thought he was getting better. He went to a better place today to be with his beloved, my Bubbe. He has missed her so much since September and nothing can stop one from wishing to be with their beloved.

Zayda was one of the toughest yet loving people I know. He lived though a great deal, many hardships, medical challenges, 5 grandchildren (and a grandchild-in-law), 2 loving children, and many friends. He gave us all so much and we will forever be in debt to his love, and I will forever be strong and able to keep my elbows off the table.

It still seems like a dream, he was always so strong and tough, that I could never imagine him succumbing to anything, he even survived burns over most of his body around 50 years ago. It was so hard to seem him ill, and I am relieved he no longer has to suffer.

The coming days and weeks will be an odd adjustment period. Watching my mom retake an avol (mourner) status and continue to say kaddish for another 11 months will be part of the healing, Saturdays will no longer include a trip to see him and share our Rabbi's sermon with him. I no longer will be able to talk about how the Red Sox are leading in the division over his Yankees, or talk politics and about college happenings. He was a Zayda that was not lovey dovey and never let us get away with anything but it was more than clear that he loved me and my family more than anything in the world. I will go back to school and for the first time at college not fear a phone call with grim news on the other end. It will be hard but family and time will help heal wounds, wounds of sadness that can only be closed with tears of sadness and tears of joy. Tear of sadness for my Zayda who I will never see again, tears of joy for the memories we have and the relief of no more pain and suffering.

Baruch Dayan Emet - Blessed is the Truthful Judge
Arthur Benjamin - Avram Aron ben Zlata v' Chaim
October 14, 1923 - July 19, 2009
4 Chesvan 5684 - 27 Tamuz 5769

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