Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Song-osity: Reflecting

thank you clarity...

It's time to reflect. Reflect on a journey that began 10 years ago and  reached an end this past week.

On Monday morning, my mom had a cardiac ablation to fix her Afib that was diagnosed 10 years ago. The thought of sending my mom into the OR was hard to swallow, even with the prospect of her feeling better on the flip side. I was anxious, I was scared, but I was ready to have my mom all better after so many years of worrying.

As we sat in preop on Monday morning, there was a calmness, sure there was anxiety and nerves for both of us, but we both agreed we were ready. We sat in preop, her surgeon ready, her nurses ready, she was ready, I was ready. The last moments of us hanging out on the gurney, watching the Today show were so simple, yet so special, we agreed there was clarity.

And then, the "see you later." It wasn't easy to watch her wheel away, between what happened two months ago and the fear of your mom going into the OR, I was a bit scared, well actually really scared.

I had a 10 hour day of waiting ahead of me. A lot of hours of being alone in silence, thinking, waiting.

thank you silence... 

Yet, I was never alone, there never really was silence, I mean it is a hospital (they even tested the fire alarms for 15 minutes!). I had friends texting and emailing me checking in on how things were going. The amazing surgeon came out to personally update me as things got underway. And as time crept along, I felt at peace in the silence of the waiting room; the silence of "no news is good news."
I wandered the hospital. I tried to pass the time. I watched hours of mindless ABC tv. I figured out how many positions I could wedge myself into the chair in the waiting area.

10 hours later, her surgeon came out. All good news. As I called a friend to relay the news I let out an audible sigh. A sigh ten years in the making. Tears of relief fell from my eyes.
thank you nothingness...

Tuesday, mom rested, while I tried to entertain myself. Glove balloons, IV pole rides, crosswords, and creative uses for the IV pole all helped. In terms of excitement a slightly boring day filled with nothingness was a good thing!

By Wednesday, I was able to break her out of jail and we were on our way home, with so much to be grateful for!While the official "all better" declaration has yet to be handed out by her doctors, we're optimistic. In so many ways I feel so much lighter. Ready to put this chapter behind us and move on to a new leg of health and happiness!

Thank you to the amazing team who took care of my mom (and me). You truly gave us what to be grateful for.

And! Come link up and join the Good.Random.Fun. each Monday, right here!

22 thoughts on the matter:

Nicki said... {Reply}

I have lived and relived that experience too many times and can appreciate each and every unwritten emotion behind this post. I continue to think of your mom and her road to recovery and you and your family because things like this do not only impact the patient.

Love the glove puppet - nice!

Linda Kay said... {Reply}

Bless you for being there with you mom during all this. I remember when my dad had his heart valve fixed and came out of the operating room. It was frightening to see him so helpless. I'm with Nicki...love the glove guy.

Carol Blackburn said... {Reply}

Hi Tamar, so glad your Mom is doing well. It is scary even for a grown up child. My grandson at age 14 had the same procedure. It was scary even for an old lady like me. Blessings!

Leovi Leovi said... {Reply}

Great photos, I really like the picture of reflection !!

Heather{Our Life In a Click} said... {Reply}

Such great news!!! You came through like a trooper and I'm sure your mom was so happy to have you with her every step of the way!!

Gina Kleinworth said... {Reply}

I'm so happy for your family Tamar - it's so hard to go through all of that. Thank you for the updates. You all have been on my mind a lot!! Hugs!

Dara @ Not In Jersey said... {Reply}

glad you got it over with and wow for having to wait 10 hours!! when I had surgery it was like 2 hours and Dave went to work instead of waiting at the hospital. you are a good daughter!

Kim Cunningham said... {Reply}

Such a post full of thanksgiving and God's faithfulness to you and your mom. So happy to have upheld the day in prayer with you!!

Patti G said... {Reply}

What a great, thought provoking post! So eloquently put.
I've spent many an hour in hospital waiting rooms & I am so thankful that all turned out so well for you & your mom.
Continued prayers for both of you as the healing continues!

Kim Stevens said... {Reply}

Brings back all the silent moments of our own waiting, thinking, waiting...Brought tears to my eyes, so happy for you and your mom Tamar!! xo

Sharon said... {Reply}

What great news! I pray your mom continues to improve. I've been in that hospital waiting room. What a welcome support your texting friend provided. Hope it's all good news from here on :)

Pieni Lintu said... {Reply}

Happy shots! :)

Buckeroomama said... {Reply}

Your being there with your mom meant the world to her, as I am sure your friends' texts and messages of support meant to you during that time.

I love that shot, btw!

Clairejustine oxox said... {Reply}

Aww what a journey :(, glad to hear the good news :)

barbara said... {Reply}

So glad your mom is doing well! I'm a nurse and sometimes is important to hear happy ending stories! Ah.. Glove balloons are my favorites!!

Jill Harrison said... {Reply}

beautifully written. I am sure it reflects what many have gone through when there loved one has been n hospital....I know....
I wish your Mum health and many more years of happiness. She must be a very special Mum.
Have a great week. I am joining you at Our World Wednesday.

tiarastantrums said... {Reply}

quick prayers for your momma!! Glad all is well with your family!

carolina rico said... {Reply}

So glad everything turned our fine!!!! THank GOd for nothingless!!!

Ida said... {Reply}

Praise God for this wonderful outcome. I'm sure the waiting wasn't easy but you handled it with a much more calmness then I might have.

Adrienne said... {Reply}

This is the third time I've come back to read this - you've done such a wonderful job of expressing your heart and the strain of times like you've been through. I love that, as you look towards next year, you are turning such a significant page! Hugs!

pattisjarrett said... {Reply}

Thankful for a good report. May the rest of your mom's recovery be so uneventful. :)

Life with Kaishon said... {Reply}

I am crying my eyes out. So thankful she is OK. God bless you, Tamar. What a scary thing to go through.