Thursday, December 18, 2014

Stuff my third graders say v. 4

kid 1: what's with the yankees kippah?
kid 2: what's with the red sox?
kid 1: ouch
kid 2: see no trash talk!

Me: what is the value of the 5
Kid: monkey
Me: really?
Kid: yes

kid 1: at my old school....
kid 2: you sound like the girl in the magic school bus books!
kid 1: at my old school we read that book!

kid 1: I'm kosher
kid 2: you don't have spilt hooves you have toes

girl 1: when I get older I'm going to marry a man not a woman
girl 2: why not a woman?
girl 1: two girls will be too much drama!!
me: then you write what the resolution was in the story
kid: like the resolutionary war?
me: you mean revolutionary war?
kid: no that's what you call a resolution to the war

kid: recess is a short vacation from learning!

working on paying compliments:
kid: ms. benjamin, you're teaching has improved significantly since the year began
me: .... thank you....

me: ready to do your work?
kid: yes! wait, what?

me: that's the gulf of mexico
kid 1: you golf there?
me: gulf not golf...
kid 1: can you golf in the gulf?
kid 2: your ball will sink!
kid: do I have to?
me: yes
kid: do I want to?
me: no
kid: see what I did there?

me: who knows what landform this is?
kid 1: a plain
kid 2: I don't see a plane!?

me (to out of breath kid): something tells me you ran all the way from the water fountain...
kid: no. I held my breathe!

me: I really want you to behave for Miss. K when she subs for me tomorrow. 
kid: but she is so strict to me!
me: and I'm not??
kid: well I expect it from you!!
kid: that's a hashtag (pointing at the # symbol)
me: it meant number berfore it meant hashtag

kid: it's so cold but so sunny!
me: funny how that works right?
kid: it works better in israel, it's never this cold!

kid: I speak squeak, my name in my language is "sqeeeeeeek"

playing a geography game:
kid: I got Ottowa!! 
me: that's Utah

kid: we're all created in God's image, so we're good horcruxes!!
me: I think you'll like the homework tonight, it's fun!
kid: watching tv?
me: no

we cross the street to the upper school campus 2x a week.
kid (who lived in NYC until 2 years ago): I can cross by myself, I'm a New Yorker, nothing scares me!

me: please come to the front of the line
kid 2: why does he get to come to the front?
me: because he was talking too much
kid 2: if I talk I get to cut the line???

kid: Ms. Benjamin? I don't get it?
me: what don't you get? 
him: all of it
me: can you be more specific?
him: no, I was in the bathroom when you gave direction, I really don't get any of it!

Little by Little
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15 thoughts on the matter:

Bekah said... {Reply}

I love these!!! The kid who defined recess has wisdom beyond years. TRUTH! And I'm glad to hear your teaching has improved. :)

Suburban Girl said... {Reply}

What a great little coffee table book you could make with these and your photos.

Anonymous said... {Reply}

LOL. These always crack me up!

Heather{Our Life In a Click} said... {Reply}

Always enjoy these so much! So funny!!! I loved the resolutionary war and the horcruxes one! Also I'm a New Yorker! ha!

Linda Kay said... {Reply}

How delightful. Some of them are too smart! It reminds me of some of the things my 7-year old grandson comes up with. He was talking about Fantasy Football to his dad, explaining that his choice was best because his Dad's choice for a quarterback wouldn't stand up to the defense on the other team. What?

Snap said... {Reply}

Too much fun! Out of the mouths of babes!

Dara @ Not In Jersey said... {Reply}

lol. I love these posts!

Claire Justine said... {Reply}

Aww, sounds like fun :)

Maureen @ Josephina Ballerina said... {Reply}

Vibrating with chuckles.
Sounds like a good name for a sitcom.
Oh wait. Maybe not.
:) m & jb

Nicki said... {Reply}

lol! Witty bunch - I have no doubt they keep you on your toes. :)

tiarastantrums said... {Reply}

hard to keep a straight face sometimes eh?

Buckeroomama said... {Reply}

I always enjoy reading these!

Carol Blackburn said... {Reply}

Hmmmm, I'll have to try misbehaving the next time I'm in a long line in the post office. Just maybe they'll take me first. Probably not :(

tinajo said... {Reply}

Kids are great! :-) I wish you a great holiday time, take care!

Shoshanah said... {Reply}

I love the line about horcruxes!