Thursday, November 2, 2017

Things My Third Graders Say v. 20

kid 1: you didn't do that
kid 2: i did too
me: don't fact check each other please
kid 3: no fake news! 

me: your hands felt clammy what does that mean?
kid: you're handling raw clams

me: (reading) he called her a chick
kid 1: what's a chick
kid 2: a hot woman!

kid: you circled that but i had it right
me: i know i wanted to make sure you were paying attention

kid: i'm hungry...i'm angry...i'm hangry!

kid 1: number one dares go first, then double dares
me: that's how it works?
kid 2: yes it's highly logical
kid 1: my mom was pregnant 3 times and had five kids...
kid 2: that math is wrong
kid 1: i know my dad almost ran away!

kid: your real name is're teaching name is ms. benjamin

kid: i'm offended by everyone saying they are offended

me: how'd you know that
kid: i asked my Alexa

me: what's a wart
kid 1: a really nasty pimple
kid 2: but one that can get frozen off

me: ok you just said what i said in an israeli accent....not helpful
kid: yeah it is he understands israeli...not plain hebrew
kid 1: JK Rowling's house is on 160 acres
kid 2: she must have have a ton of books!
kid 3: won't the anchors make them wet?

me: if you amaze me i am in a state of...
kid: massachusetts? 

kid 1: (singing) john jacobs jinglehymer schmitt
kid 2: i'm not allowed to sing that song...too easy to say a bad word

me: what a great way to start the week
kid: it's monday that's the only way to start the week

kid: what is that
me: the music? it's bach
kid: sounds like dying cats

kid 1: and then at color war...
me: it's far too early to talk about color war
kid 2: or far too late
me: i cant help you when you whine at me
kid 1: i'm not whining
kid 2: she's 8 not 21. she can't wine and dine

morah dani: hurry you're late!
kid: please. nothing at maimo starts without me

video: fact or is delicious
kid 1: ewww good thing i'm not a grown up because i think coffee is nasty
kid 2: you're not a grown up...yet!
kid 1: well that part is a fact!

kid: i don't know how we got from american girl dolls to politics

kid 1: it's not a snows in winter
me: february is in winter
kid 2: winter is coming!

me: is it a fact or an opinion that all teachers are adults
kid: fact...if kids taught we'd all be dumb
kid 1: i do not like dogs...i only like puppies, they aren't dogs yet
kid 2: that's like saying a baby isn't a person!

me: excuse me...are you the teacher?
kid: yup
me: oh really? Where did you get your education degree?
kid: the "university of kids can teach and stuff"
me: wow! Is that accredited?
kid: no we only cover the exciting stuff. That sounds boring.

me: please "shark" your this {snaps on my finger}
kid: that shark just bit you!

me: what are the cardinal directions?
kid 1: the positions on the cardinals baseball team?
me: not quite
kid 2: the direction the little red bird goes?

kid (singing): he's killing me softly with his song
kid 2: maybe it was a bad song...that will kill someone!

me: what does husbandry mean?
kid: adultary for men?


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12 thoughts on the matter:

Claire Justine said... {Reply}

Fun post :) Thanks for hosting Tamar.

Tom said... {Reply}

...what patience you have!

Shelbee on the Edge said... {Reply}

OMG, Tamar! The things kids say! They are so funny! I was once substitute teaching a 5th grade class (long before I had kids) and one boy asked me if I was having a baby, when I replied with an emphatic "No!", the girl standing with him said, "See I told you she was pregnant." He looked me up and down and said, "Well, if I were you then, I would get rid of that dress." You bet I never wore that dress again! hahahahha.


Mary K. said... {Reply}

Oh Tamar, thanks for taking the time to share this. It had me rolling on the floor. Kids can be so funny without even meaning to.

Dara @ Not In Jersey said... {Reply}

They are so funny!

Gina Kleinworth said... {Reply}

So funny to hear the world from their perspective!

Heather{Our Life In a Click} said... {Reply}

Oh my gosh. These are so funny !!! They always crack me up. Love your classroom!

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said... {Reply}

There used to be a show on TV when I was young called "Kids Say the Darndest Things"--these conversations could have been on any episode! So funny!

Carol @Comfort Spring Station said... {Reply}

Kids say the darndest things - very cute dialogue

csuhpat1 said... {Reply}

Very cute. Thanks for hosting and have a wonderful weekend.

Klara S said... {Reply}

Kids are funny.
Thank you for hosting. Have a lovely Sunday.

betty-NZ said... {Reply}

Kids are so creative!!