Thursday, May 23, 2024

I Said Yes!

In Judaism, there is the concept of you beshert (fated). The idea is that each of us is a half and we are destined to meet our literal, other half, or our beshert. Well....I realized pretty quickly after meeting Judah that he in fact is mine.

For prosperity, I want to start at the beginning and write down our "first chapter" as we embark on a new chapter and plan our wedding! 

Finding "my person" didn't unfold in the traditional timeline, especially in my Jewish community where you usually have 2 kids in school by your mid thirties. I knew my beshert was out there, but I would be lying if I didn't say I was beginning to wonder if I would ever find them. It was in December, when I basically told myself "it will be what it will be." Just a few weeks later I matched with Judah on Hinge and very quickly realized this was the real deal!
One Friday night in late December, I remember seeing Judah's profile. I had never been super attracted to bald guys before (insert awkward emoji...) but I distinctly remember that his smile was just so inviting and kind and that he seemed genuine and fun. I sent the like and within an hour I had a notification that we matched and nearly immediately after that he sent me a message via the app! I had a picture from snowboarding in NH as one of my profile pictures and he used Google image search to figure out where it was and used that as a launching point. We messaged back and forth for hours and knew we wanted to meet BUT he was about to head to Florida for a week so we agreed to talk on the phone and take it from there.
So on Sunday December 17th, we spoke via phone....for FOUR hours. We never had a lull in our conversation, it was so natural and comfortable, and we didn't just chat about the superficial stuff but deep things too! We had 2 more 4-hour long phone chats while he was in Florida and planned to have our first in person date when he got back to NJ/NY. I had talked to other guys for a bit before meeting in person, but this time I really felt like this could go somewhere. Friends already saw me smiling more at work and not just because winter vacation was around the corner!
Our first day was truly an instant connection. I admit I had big nerves before I went into the restaurant but the second we sat down I felt so at ease and hopeful. We had dinner at an Indian restaurant then drove to another place for desert. We shut that place down and ended up taking a nice walk along the Hudson River talking more. We had our first kiss out there in the frigid December air and as we just stood at the water Judah said "where have you been?" swoon 
We saw each other again a few days later, but were already talking on the phone every night and texting all day. We had brunch, hung out, and went to the botanical garden light show and dinner. The next day was New Year's Eve and he asked me to go with him to a friend's party and I countered with "so does that mean I am your girlfriend?" After that we were pretty much inseparable and seeing each other a few days a week and spending the whole weekend together. 
One weekend, in mid-January, we went to the city for the day and as we got into Grand Central Station's giant atrium he spun me around and said "one day soon, I am going to ask you to marry me" After that things really started to move quickly. But, when you are 36 and 42 you know when you know! I had a few friends who were a bit doubtful of the speed but I really knew that my single years were over. 
By mid-February we had met each others parents and spent the weekend with his sister's family in Massachusetts. We were planning long term, talking timeline, and introducing each other to more friends. By early March we were looking at rings and took our first big trip together to Florida! He moved in with me in March also and works remotely so he is there when I leave and come home. WFH also means the laundry is always caught up, bed is always made, and dishes always done. In April, we really started talking timeline for proposal and wedding. I only asked that he propose before the school year is over and he had no issue with that! 
I had a general idea of what his plan was and knew he had hired a photographer and was planning to ask me at one of my favorite area gardens. He proposed at Untermeyer Gardens at the the Temple of Love, at the top a waterfall with the Hudson River down below us. My legs were literally jello from excited nerves and it was surreal to put the ring on. I have never been a "ring type of girl" so it's still very new to me to have it on (but it is a built in fidget now...). After we had a moment at the Temple of Love to savor what just happened we walked around the garden and took so many amazing pictures and just reveled in the beginning of our second chapter together! 
We started to call and text family and friends and bring others into our shared joy. We joked we broke the internet with the sheer number of likes, messages, and comments we were getting in rapid succession! We then drove to his mom's house for a l'chaim (a toast) with close family and celebrate this joyous occasion! I was so filled with adrenaline, I had to lean on Judah for support and he kept forgetting and walking away and I would tip over (core memory there!). 
We are working quickly on a late summer wedding, while one of his sisters is in America with her family. To some, this timeline is a sprint. To us, in our world, it is average as in sects of Judaism the time from meeting, to engagement, to marriage can be quite quick!! Neither of us are as observant as we were raised but we are so excited to start a Jewish home together and continue our lineage! 

Photos by the amazingly talented Seth Pellum Photography

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17 thoughts on the matter:

roentare said... {Reply}

This is so beautiful!

Jim said... {Reply}


Joanne said... {Reply}

These photos are just fabulous and I loved hearing your story!

rupam sarma said... {Reply}

Just awesome, Greetings

Tom said... {Reply}

...remember that God only made a few perfect heads, all the rest he grew hair on them!

Dara @ Not In Jersey said... {Reply}

What a lovely story! I've enjoyed the glimpses I've seen on Facebook and on here! It may be quick but it's lovely when you can say you knew and you wanted to move quickly for that reason! Mazel tov!

Michelle said... {Reply}

So many congratulation! The speed of your timeline makes sense to me, as I experienced this myself. My husband and I were 60 and 52 respectively when we met in online in December, in person in January, moved in together in March, and got married in June. I am known as rather cautious and my friends thought the speed of this courtship was all kinds of crazy. But like you said, when you know, you know. Eight years later we are still in the honeymoon phase.

You two are so cute! I wish you all kinds of happiness! Again, congratulations!

Melynda@Scratch Made Food! said... {Reply}

I think I knew when you introduced Judah, that we would be seeing a proposal! May happiness always live in your home.

Barbara Rogers said... {Reply}

Thanks so much for taking us on your romantic journey (so far!) and all best wishes for continued joy shared together!

LA Paylor said... {Reply}

I was your age when I finally found my husband. We were engaged within3 months, married within one year. It will be 30 years this july since that wedding.
Best of luck, you'll both work out the ups and downs of life together I just feel it, and it will be so good to have someone with whom to share this life

Cloudia said... {Reply}

It's big thing Thursday! LChaim

Carol @Comfort Spring Station said... {Reply}

Congratulations! I can't wait for more photos of the process.

Slabs said... {Reply}

Huge and heartfelt congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding. May you be blessed, happy and fulfilled, now and forever.
Thanks, Tamar, for hosting.
My entries are numbered #22+23. Please join SSPS: M-S

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said... {Reply}

CONGRATULATIONS TAMAR AND JUDAH! I do not know if you see my comments as they always bounce back to me but I am so happy to see you and Judah have found each other and I wish long and happy lives together for you both! L, Chaim!

Anonymous said... {Reply}

I loved reading your whole story - and I adore these pictures! SO GOOD! You know my take: when you know, you know, and it's YOUR story! Ryan and I are sailing toward our 12th anniversary, and it was the best fast engagement ever! Congratulations!!! - Bekah

ROAD GYPSIES - VAL & HOLLAND said... {Reply}


Yes, I also believe that Elohim plans our lives and has that special someone chosen for us.

Great post, and good pictures - you make a very handsome couple :-)

csuhpat1 said... {Reply}

What a great story and congrats to you two. Happy for you.