Thursday, June 18, 2015

Stuff my third graders say v. 8

kid: can I say YIPEEE at the end of the song? 
me: denied

kid: will it be raining at 2:10?
me: I cannot predict the future!
kid 2: I can!

kid: oh up!
me: what?!

kid: ms. benjamin? how about the yankees being ahead of the Sox?
me: do you want good grades?
kid: we don't get real grades!

kid: let's play secret santa
me: no
kid: how about secret hashem?
kid: when is the aircraft due?
me: you mean the artifact?
kid: oh, yeah that makes more sense

kid: which folder?
me: really? it's May you know which one!
kid: come on, I'm getting old the memory is going!

kid: can i bring a dog to special visitor day?

kid: this is the best handwriting since 1849
me: what happened in 1849?
kid: the pencil was invented...?

kid: what is Utah?
me: really?
kid: is it a planet?
me: what is Uganda, does anyone know?
kid 1: a movie!
me: it's a country in Africa
kid 2: like in Lion King!?
me: what!?

me: what's another way to say nice? starts with an f....
kid: fugitive?

kid 1: wait, let's is different then lettuce
me: are you being silly?
kid 1: no really! it makes SO much more sense now... 
kid 2: let's eat lettuce! 

me: you need scissors, glue, and paper
kid: oh my!

kid: a headdress, not a dress on your head
kid: i bought a manequin head on amazon prime, only 6 dollars
mr. malkin: is that a tribe?
kid: do you live under a rock?

kid: i made a civil war capture the flag board game
me: you're not calling it the "war of northern aggression?"
kid: it's a war, they're all aggressive....

kid 1: no! it's spelled ceremon-i-e-s
kid 2: ugh it doesn't matter!
kid 1; yes! my parents will not be happy if it's spelled wrong on the poster!

kid: I need to photobomb this!
me: we'll be starting an immigration unit
kid: oh! that's like Martin Luther King!
me: no. 

kid: i'm 0% Israeli, but 100% new yorker

morah naomi: are we ready??
kids: NO!!!
me: you SO had that coming

me: I need to squeeze everything I can into your little brain before school ends
kid: hey! I have more brains than a dinosaur!

kid: icky, this water tastes like new jersey water
me: hey! nj water is great!

me: you need to go spell this the right way, this the right way, oh and please spell your name right, too!
me: stop poking people!
kid: it's so fun!

kid 1: why is the boys bathroom pass wet?
me: i do not want to know
kid 2: I KNOW!!!
me: no, just, just don't

kid: glitter!! so much electronic glitter!!

me: you need to stop making monkey noises when you raise your hand. you're a human not a monkey
kid: we're related to monkeys
me: yes but we evolved

me: gentlemen, no
kid: but that's what gentlemen do!

Little by Little
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14 thoughts on the matter:

Leovi - La Fotografía Efectista Abstracta said... {Reply}

Yes, the atmosphere smells like vacation!

jandi said... {Reply}

So funny! Love the Utah one! And the general confusion about African geography!

Heather{Our Life In a Click} said... {Reply}

Oh my gosh, this is the best one yet! I can't pick a favorite! Let's and lettuce may be the one!

Dara @ Not In Jersey said... {Reply}

omg secret Hashem! I love it!

Danelle M said... {Reply}

I love these! DO NOT touch that boys bathroom pass! ;)

Gina Kleinworth said... {Reply}

These always crack me up!!!! We often sit on the porch & listen to the neighbor kids play - they say things when adults are absent that bowl you over.

Have a great Thursday Tamar!

Carol Blackburn said... {Reply}

I think ready for summer vacation, for sure.

abrianna said... {Reply}

My favorites are the secret hashem and the amazon prime one. That last one made me laugh out loud.

The boys bathrom pass-yick. I 'd throw it out and make anew one for this next year.

Linda Kay said... {Reply}

Tamar, those are all delightful. Remember the old Art Linkletter and the Kids Say the Darndest Things?

Adrienne said... {Reply}

....the pencil was invented? Ha!! I love these!

Nicki said... {Reply}

I can only imagine the exchanges that have to give you a chuckle. I think Ryan was about that age when he asked if he could have an old/broken flip phone to play with. Me: "it's broke" Him: "that's okay, I have broke friends." He got the phone.

Jill Foley said... {Reply}

just sitting here shaking my head at some of these!

Kim Cunningham said... {Reply}

You have funny kids. They seem really quick on their feet with the wit. I would be dying all the time from laughing.

The Artful Diva said... {Reply}

I love the photo bomb shot!